This time Randy and I used the NED (New Era Dianetics) method, which was a lot smoother than Book One, and these same two similar traumas came up. One thing that was quite helpful for me in this process was switching viewpoints and valences and this process actually helped me to gain some empathy and a lot more understanding for those whom I felt had hurt me and for those whom had been present but not intervened. I also noticed that during very our first session I had an insight fairly quickly, and this helped me to blow some of the charge off an issue which had brought me to psychotherapy, 12 Step Groups, Landmark Education & finally the Church of Scientology in the first place. While all of these tools were to some extent beneficial in my life, by far the most relief I have had has come from Independent Auditing and Training under Randy Smith which has no pressure in the form of registering for another course, making a donation, nor to hurry up and complete a share within a predefined (short) amount of time as per group and individual therapies.
I had started a Dianetics Introductory session with another auditor earlier this year using the Book One method. We had contacted what are probably the two most traumatic events of my childhood during those sessions, but never quite reached an end result where I felt that I had some kind of an insight or a “win” nor really felt more a peace when looking back on either one. This left me feeling not quite sure whether it was done right or not and so I had doubts about the effectiveness of auditing at the time.
Since then I have switched auditors to Randy Smith and have done a number of other auditing processes with him (see my write ups on Marriage Counseling and Life Repair – I also recently completed the Communication Course which I didn’t write up) which have all been marvelous!
At the end of our final session, I had a large insight around the earlier traumatic childhood event which shed some light on an unconscious decision I made when I was afraid and confused at that time. I saw how this decision had led to me feeling fear and anxiety about leaving my room for much of my remaining life, as well as my sense of unease about hearing voices and noises coming through the other side of a locked door, and how this fear over time contributed to my being fairly reclusive and “homebody” or “indoors” type of person. After the end of the session I wanted to get outside and enjoy nature and more of what life has to offer! Even on the weekend, when I usually would want to stay in, I instead wanted to go out and do something which was a marked shift. By no means would I say that this issue or others are completely “cured” or totally gone yet, since it is still very early in my overall auditing, but I definitely felt some relief around the first event and a lot about the other similar one that occurred later.
My girlfriend has even commented that she noticed ever since doing these sessions (and auditing in general) I seem a lot less anxious, less worried, less judgmental and critical, less irritable, and a lot more focused and at peace overall. We are also able to communicate better, and even our arguments are productive in that we get in touch with what really bothers us much faster and without being hurtful about it.
Thank you as always to my auditor Randy, independent Scientology auditing and to L. Ron Hubbard for pioneering and developing this technology which has caused a tremendous boost in my life. Thank you all and I really am grateful to have these resources as it has changed my outlook permanently for the better.